Our trusts & estates professor usually begins class by detailing a semi-current event from T&E. He recently brought this [defective] will to our attention:
Background: A Brooklyn couple were killed in their home, and then a series of wills were found in their apartment.
Excerpts from Husband’s Will:
- “To my brother, who I know hopes to be in my will, well, here you are. I leave my brother the sum of zero ($0.00) dollars. I believe this sum is fitting, as you are probably the most greedy person I know.”
- “Robert, brothers are supposed to want each other to be the most they can be and make the most money they can. You, on the other hand, just sat in judgment of me and were always jealous.”
- “I, on the other hand, only wished you the best and to win the lottery.”
- “So, Robert, you have a choice, you can come to my grave site to say hello out of love or piss on me for not giving you money.”
- He asked to be buried with scuba gear “and cast over the side of a vessel into the ocean where my body may rest undisturbed by any person[s] in the deep.”
- “Although I recognize that this request may very well violate certain . . . laws of the State of New York and Federal as well as multiple other jurisdictions, I trust that my Executor and friends will ignore same.”
- Although the will did provide that his estate could be used to pay for any legal problems resulting from the burial.
- Should his friends be unable to bury him at sea, in scuba gear, he suggests that they come up with something befitting his character.
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- He suggests “a beach party with stripers. [sic]“
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- “Although I recognize that this request may very well violate certain . . . laws of the State of New York and Federal as well as multiple other jurisdictions, I trust that my Executor and friends will ignore same.”
- $50,000 to two of his friends, on the condition that they refrain from telling their respective spouses, so that “they may not get their hands on same.”
- “In the event my friends [brothers] fail to provide me with a burial befitting my character, then and in that event, I curse each one of them as follows”
- “To Boom Boom, the electricity never be on when you need it”
- “To TR, never will any of your radios work again”
- “To Bobby, never will your gun shoot when you need it.”
- Note: Ironically, Bobby Delvicario was a suspect in the death of the couple.
Excerpt’s from the Wife’s Will:
- “With regard to my estranged family who were never there for myself or my children, but always there for their distorted version of Catholicism, I give and bequeath the sum of $1 each to my” mother, father, two brothers and sister “and request that they donate same to their precious church to whom they had a greater allegiance, than to their first child and sister.”
- In an awkward turn of events, she named her ex-husband and left him nothing
- She did, however, make a gift to a battered women’s shelter in his name. Yikes.
Hat tip to Professor Zachary A. Kramer.
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Wow – now THAT’S legal comedy! I love leaving a donation to the women’s shelter in her ex-husbands name – genius!
Strangely enough, my will also requests being cast over the side of a boat in scuba gear.
@Josh Camson, You should see the other weird stuff that I’ve edited into your will.
“a beach party with stripers.”
Obviously, he was a surf fisherman, and wanted his friends to celebrate his life by catching some striped bass.
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