Getting back to discussion of Vinny’s legal attributes, I should have mentioned:

1. he was able to “learn on his feet”; that can be very important; he learned from his adversary, and he learned from his fiancee; and

2. he was able to accept sound advice from his fiancee who gave him nothing but sound advice.

Without his legal team of Marisa Tomei, maybe his goose would have been cooked… but with her, he did a good job.

We can’t forget Marcus Tullius Cicero. In those days, up-and-coming Romans of the senatorial class were expected to be lawyers AND military men. Cicero was no soldier, but he did battle with Hortensius until the latter retired (their fees were astronomical, although they weren’t allowed to charge fees). He defended -how’s this for a client – the entire citizenry of Sicily! Cicero’s courtroom (even if outdoors) oratory, not to mention some rather indiscreet things he wrote, were enough to have his career ended by Marc Antony’s hit squad whacking his head off with a gladius.

I also agree with Mr. Beckerman. After 25 years of practice, there’s no substitute for good research, preparation, a client who has a real case, a client who isn’t lying, and, as Gaius Julius Caesar (another good lawyer, by the way) would have said, simple “luck”.

Other than that, I think that’s all you’re going to get out of me today– I spent way too many hours reading about gruesome injuries. Any further comments are going to come out as grunts at this point, I’m afraid. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try not to think about infected kneecaps and fractured eye sockets.

1. Being able to bullshit convincingly is not part of the equation; a courtroom is a small place, and dishonesty is very loud.

2. Yes being able to ‘think on one’s feet’ is important; I didn’t feel that Vinny actually demonstrated a lot of that.

3. ‘Believing in one’s client’s innocence’ and ‘liking your client’ are very nice, but they don’t help you win cases. Good lawyering helps you win cases.

4. Vinny wasn’t even a lawyer; he was pretending to be a lawyer. He could be jailed for what he did, and would certainly be denied bar admission.

5. We all enjoyed the movie; but I don’t think you would want Vinny for your lawyer.

I rest my case.

Speaking of badass attys, what about Patty Hews from Damages. She’s pure bad.