Apparently the hip new way to get free representation for your patent dispute is by spamming law students on internet dating websites.

Background:  Around 2006 I created an OkCupid account to “meet ladies.”  I’m no longer looking for a “lady friend” but I update my profile periodically for no good reason.  The most current version briefly talks about my interest in patents and intellectual property.

I was a bit surprised to log into my email account a few minutes ago to see a notification of a new message on OkCupid.  Curious, I logged in to see the following message waiting for me:

They all want money!  Can you believe such ridiculous assertions?  I was going to come up with something witty to lead into his profile, but really, res ipsa loquitur.

Right.  I guess that could be why they never write back.  Occam’s Razor says that it’s probably because you’re kind of crazy.

As I flipped through the rest of the profile, I kept marking things to illustrate here.  However, there was so much amazing material that I thought I would just recreate the listing anonymously.

Without further adieu, click here for the full listing.  Good news ladies: if you’ll litigate his patents, he’s definitely available.  I refuse to make any joke about 40 Year Old Virgin being one of his favorite movies.

Related posts:

1. Dating a Lawyer